Feeling Vulnerable

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As I sit here at my kitchen table thinking about what to write or how to word the thoughts in my mind, the more I feel vulnerable.

To be honest, I am nervous.

I am scared to share what’s going on in my mind to the world… I know that, obviously not the whole world is reading this but, to me it feels like it. I am putting myself out there and sharing this journey and I really have no idea what I am doing. I am taking each day as it comes.

The past couple weeks I have been teaching my preschool students about insects and the different life cycles they go through. One in particular keeps coming to mind, the life cycle of a caterpillar. I feel as though I am a caterpillar right now. My one and only job is to eat, eat, eat. Fill my body up with nutritional food, positive thoughts, more strength and experiences. As soon as I feel good about myself and have enough knowledge under my belt, I can get ready to form my cocoon. Take what I learned and form it into something beautiful. It’s going to be hard but when I have done these steps, I will blossom into a butterfly. I will feel beautiful and graceful about myself. I will fly.

So yeah… there’s what’s going on in my mind.

I am sitting here, heart beating fast, stomach in knots.

“Should I really post this?”

“Does this sound ridiculous?”

“I am doing this. I am sharing this. This is my journey. I am figuring out life. I am finding myself. I am not going to regret this. I will regret it if I don’t post it. Life is too short, give it your all Aleaha, give it your all.”

Thanks for reading, xo.

Happy Sunday.

– from the wildflower within

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