Journey to my Spirit Animal

 

 

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Here’s my journey ~

It’s dark as I begin this journey into the forest. There is no light around me other than what I can see at my feet..the ground. Just pure dirt and rocks.  As I begin walking down this dark path, light floods all around me.  I feel as though I am stepping out of this darkness and into pure light, joy and happiness.  This forest is beautiful.  The ground covered in green soft moss, everywhere. It feels so good on my bare feet..it’s comfy and supportive.  I feel safe and comfortable. I’m surrounded by so many birch trees right around me, and farther up the trail are these ginormous thick tall massive trees. These trees are strong and their roots just come right up above the ground off the trail.

The path is lined with ferns and other thick green bushes.  I suddenly hear a little rustle in the bush just as I started to pay attention to them.  I don’t feel threatened by this noise, I am more curious and eager to know what it was. I take another step, and a thick bushy reddish-orange tail with a white tip pops up out of the bush.  I take another step…then this beautiful majestic fox hops out. We lock eyes. We don’t speak to one another, but look into each others eyes. Then off we go, continuing down the mossy trail.  This fox is playful, hopping and running from side to side. I begin to do the same things…I am hopping, galloping and running along, having so much fun and feeling so free.

As we are getting deeper into the forest, I get a sense we’re not alone. I look up in the trees and there it is…a white owl starting at me.  I lock eyes with this mysterious wise soul for what felt like a minute, as we both looked away, the owl came swooping down right in front of the fox and I, and flew off into the forest.

The fox and I continue along still playing around and end up at this beautiful field. It is covered with tall grass and orange and yellow flowers. They are everywhere. I am galloping and hopping through these beautiful wildflowers with the fox. Playing and having so much fun just being within the flowers.

Suddenly, it is time to head back to the trail head. The fox and I are just walking side by side. In silence. I can’t help my smile and look all around me, taking in all the beautiful surroundings. We get all the way to where the moss is ending and the darkness is beginning. I look back at the fox, she smiles at me, I smile back. She hops right into the bush she came from. I walk back into the darkness.

This time, I felt okay being back in the dark. I know where I am,
and I trust where I am going.

xo

– from the wildflower within

This journey was guided through an animal totem meditation by Melissa Pressmar.  She is a yoga teacher, Reiki master, aromatherapist and many other wonderful things. So thankful to have been a part of such a magical experience.

You can learn more about Melissa @ http://balancewithinyou.net

Journey to Self Love – Day 4 

Today’s task for the Journey to Self Love Challenge- was to create a vision board. A vision board is basically a space that you create using words, pictures, quotes, etc that you will see often that will help motivate you with whatever you’re trying to do.

I got home from work and heated up the rest of my leftovers from Meatless Monday meal (which was so yummy, and the recipe is on the previous blog) and opened up my laptop. I searched Pinterest for pictures and quotes that inspire me. Then I thought about some words I’m trying to work on more. Downloaded some cute new fonts and typed up the words and quotes.

Putting the vision board together was the best part. Made a cup of chamomile tea, grabbed the scissors & tape and got to work. Hung up my Christmas lights in the shape of a rectangle to be my ‘board’. I hung up a feather because I always find feathers in the most unexpected moments when I need a sign. I hung up my dreamcatcher that I received from a treasure box at The Wild Woman Fest in 2016.

During this whole experience, I felt really good about myself. I realized that for the first time, I am actually taking the time out of everyday to do something for me. These tasks that are planned each day gets me so excited for every day to come. I love seeing this board on my side of the bedroom, a place that I go do everyday, so I will be reminded of all the things that inspire me ❤
Day 4: Create a Vision Board 

• Create this in a sacred space where you’ll see it often.

 Don’t just focus on materialistic things you want. Be sure to
include how you want to feel.

 • You can print or write out quotes, words, pictures, etc. 

• Put up different objects that remind you of positive memories
or feelings. (You also can add to this as you go.)

 • Have fun with this!

Journey to Self Love – Day 1


Before thoughts-

As I sit here while I wait for my tea to brew before I begin day 1 of my self love challenge, I can’t help but feel so grateful. This self love I yearn for has been manifesting into something much bigger than I predicted. Almost 15 women have joined this challenge to help guide them in their own personal journey to self love.

This is amazing.

I’ve been questioning myself all day though, ‘how did I get here? Where did this whole thing come from? Did I really create this? Did people really join this challenge?’ It’s so hard to stop questioning. If you would of told me months ago that I would create something like this I would’ve laughed at you. I spend so much time doubting myself that I fail to see the positive changes I’ve made for myself the past couple months.

Then I found myself thinking, ‘I am here for a reason. I have so many dreams and ideas and I love to create. I want to help other women, to love themselves and feel empowered to do or be whoever they were meant to be.’

Just be your true authentic self and cherish that. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Be happy with what you see and feel when you look at yourself in a mirror.

I hope I can truly discover this for me. I feel in my heart I am almost there. I just now need to trust in myself..to take that leap and take what’s been blossoming inside of me and open it up.

I feel I’ve changed over the past few years, especially this past year. Many things played in affect and led me to where I am today. I am not saying there’s something wrong with me, I’ve just changed.

I’m more wild and chaotic than I thought I ever was. I always let what others saw in me, the way I saw myself. I’m discovering that I’ve only been kept to this certain ‘way’.

I don’t need to live to other people’s expectations. I need to live for me. Love me, for me. Do the things I WANT to do, what I DREAM to do.

I am so thankful to have a partner who loves all versions of whatever I am. Who strives for me to just be my true authentic self and do more of the things I love to do.

I’m messy. I spend more time dreaming of different life experiences that I want to have. Yoga is my saving grace in moments of panic and insecurities. I’m moody. I’m most happy when I’m traveling and I’m far from home/routine. (As long as my fiancé is there.) some days I’m super happy and cheerful. Other days I’m quiet and want to be left alone.

I do want to embrace all sides of me..however, I know I need to be more positive and healthier & make better decisions that will help me feel better about myself/body.

Okay, now that all of that is out on the table…time to sip my chamomile tea, listening to my music & write some goals I hope to reach during this challenge.

– from the wildflower within

Day one: Write in your Journal

3-5 Goals you want to reach throughout this journey to Self Love.

What is something you want to do more of? What do you want to work on? What will help you feel better about yourself? 

Write 5 things you love about yourself & place them around your home or mirror you always use. Read them every time you see them.  

Journey to Self Love Challenge

“its not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority. its necessary.”

-mandy hale

This quote is speaking to me. And it has been for the past couple months. From the beginning of this year, I have been doing a lot of inner soul searching. Figuring out what steps I need to take to learn and grow, to truly love myself. It hasn’t been easy, and I have been suffering from occasional mini panic attacks and anxiety. Within the past month I’ve been figuring out how to handle the way I’ve been feeling. I got Reiki 1 certified (healing through touch from an energy force- to help restore physical and emotional well-being of myself and others). I’ve started this blog, and I am sharing my thoughts, taking a chance and trusting in myself. I am going with the flow, taking each day as it comes and making the most of it. I am truly ready for my next step in this journey and so I have created a 30 day challenge to self love.

I am also sharing this challenge here for you to follow along. I am not charging anything for this, I just want to help myself and others to love and respect yourself. It will be down below to download but if you would like to take part in the challenge aspect and have a chance to win a handmade dreamcatcher, then please email me at amongthewildflower@gmail.com

All details and things you may need to know will be in the download.

Thank you! & I hope you join the challenge!

xo

-from the wildflower within

JOURNEYTOSELFLOVECHALLENGE

Feeling Vulnerable

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As I sit here at my kitchen table thinking about what to write or how to word the thoughts in my mind, the more I feel vulnerable.

To be honest, I am nervous.

I am scared to share what’s going on in my mind to the world… I know that, obviously not the whole world is reading this but, to me it feels like it. I am putting myself out there and sharing this journey and I really have no idea what I am doing. I am taking each day as it comes.

The past couple weeks I have been teaching my preschool students about insects and the different life cycles they go through. One in particular keeps coming to mind, the life cycle of a caterpillar. I feel as though I am a caterpillar right now. My one and only job is to eat, eat, eat. Fill my body up with nutritional food, positive thoughts, more strength and experiences. As soon as I feel good about myself and have enough knowledge under my belt, I can get ready to form my cocoon. Take what I learned and form it into something beautiful. It’s going to be hard but when I have done these steps, I will blossom into a butterfly. I will feel beautiful and graceful about myself. I will fly.

So yeah… there’s what’s going on in my mind.

I am sitting here, heart beating fast, stomach in knots.

“Should I really post this?”

“Does this sound ridiculous?”

“I am doing this. I am sharing this. This is my journey. I am figuring out life. I am finding myself. I am not going to regret this. I will regret it if I don’t post it. Life is too short, give it your all Aleaha, give it your all.”

Thanks for reading, xo.

Happy Sunday.

– from the wildflower within

Acknowledging my negative thoughts


Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why do i constantly beat myself up in my own head?

“oh great, look at that blackhead on my chin.”

“look at this belly roll.”

“great, you can see my double chin in that picture.”

“my hair looks flat.”

“i’m fat.”

“i look stupid.”

“i hate how i look right now.”

“my eye lashes aren’t long enough.”

“my arms are too big.”

“i am too emotional.”

“i need to lose weight.”

“my cheeks are too big when i smile.”

“my eyes are uneven.”

“ugh. look at the bags under my eyes.”

“my forehead is too big.”

blah. blah. blah.

As I was flowing on my mat, all of these thoughts came rushing to me. When I get on my mat, I like to try and help myself from these thoughts, but I couldn’t hold it back. It was a flood of so many negative thoughts, that the more I moved the worse it was getting. I couldn’t escape it. So I sat there and breathed…and I let it all come to me. Then I wrote all of these thoughts down. What a reality check that was. I can’t believe how much time I’ve spent on saying negative things about myself when I look in the mirror. I yearn so badly to heal myself, to better my life & think better thoughts. I just became reiki 1 certified. I am doing more yoga. Isn’t this all suppose to help me?

Last August (2016) I attended a 5 day yoga/self love/healing fest called The Wild Woman Fest.  Ever since that time, I have been ripped open, and realized a lot of things about myself I never realized before… It has been a battle of trying to find myself, my passions, how I want to better myself, my life and what I want to offer to this world.

Some days I feel like I am getting worse. Other days I wake up feeling so motivated. I’ll give myself a pep talk, “it’s going to be a good day, I am going to eat good, I am going to drink enough water, I am going to do a workout when I get home from work.”  Guess what, when I get home from work, it all changes. I am exhausted. I don’t want to work on myself then. I’ve realized I haven’t had much water in the day, I barely ate, I barely went to the bathroom, and then I’m beat.

Maybe it’s my job that brings me down so much.

But maybe, it’s also me letting my job bring me down. Letting the little things get to me, so it’s an excuse for why I don’t get done the things I say I am going to get done. And then I sit here, I acknowledge all the things I am doing wrong. But am I going to do anything about it?

I sure as hell hope so. Which is why I am here, typing it all out. Putting it out there. Making myself feel vulnerable.

This life is so short. I spend too much time worried about what the world might think of me. What my family or friends may think of me.  What society may think of me.

I want to do better. Be better. Be more like me.

Not what some instagrammer who I look up do, does.

Why do I feel like I need to alter my appearance to “look better”? Why do I feel like I need to dress better when I share a yoga flow or picture on my instagram? Why does it always have to be about looks?

It doesn’t!

I like wearing my hair in a messy half bun, barely brushed. I love wearing my comfy pajamas & slipper socks. I don’t need to get eyelash extensions to make my eyes look beautiful. They already are.

I have to admit though, the only thing I truly need to work on besides worrying about what others may think of me, is what kind of food I put into my body. That plays a big role in how I feel about myself and the energy I am lacking.

As I wrap up this first blog post, feeling vulnerable about putting myself “out there”, I will beginning a 7 day self-love/mindful eating challenge that I am creating for myself.  After the 7 days I will share what I discovered, what worked for me & what didn’t.

I’d love to take whoever is reading along, on this journey and help who may be going through the same thing I’m going through.

Thanks for reading.

Be back in 7 days.

xoxo

– from the wildflower within