Journey to Self Love – Day 2


Day two on this journey, and to be honest I didn’t do as good as I’d hope to do.  Today I was suppose to stay away from the phone- ALL DAY. I began this morning checking Instagram  and Snapchat. No Facebook though…until my grandfather tagged me in a post from brunch- I looked at that quick and quickly got off. Didn’t go near the news feed. I am proud of that, usually I get distracted and will check.

It was amazing to spend some quality time with my family at brunch today. I did go on my phone then, but only to show them this challenge and showed my grandmother a few wedding venues. Again- no checking social media! I did however stay on my phone for another 30 minutes after that on the ride to this epic arcade game place..but again no social media, just wedding venues. Luckily, my fiancé reminded me of this day being a no phone day. After that I didn’t go on my phone until just about 5pm to find a recipe for tomorrow- Meatless Monday. It is now 10:20pm and I haven’t checked anything else. I’m still not even on my phone. I am using my laptop, strictly for WordPress and then off to bed! I promised myself I would share every day on here and how it went.

Today was such a fun day, I am so happy and feeling good. Usually at this time I am dreading waking up on a Monday morning and getting ready for work. This challenge has me feeling so excited for each day to come, to try something different and do something for myself, that is bettering my life and my health. Looking forward to trying a new meal and having no meat throughout the day, (I never realized how much meat I eat in a week, but everyday, twice a day, yikes!)  Trying a new meal is always super fun too! It’s going to be a beautiful day full of sunshine and warmer weather than what I’ve been used to…it will finally feel like spring! As a preschool teacher, it’ll be nice to keep the kids out longer in the fresh air, we all need it.

Okay time to do some restorative yoga before bed.
Goodnight world, thanks for reading xoxo

–  from the wildflower within

 

Day 2: Stay away from the phone

Take a break from checking all social media platforms for the whole day. If you’re someone like me and check constantly throughout a typical day try to cut down to once or twice.


At the end of the day reflect, how do you feel? Was it hard to stay away?

Acknowledging my negative thoughts


Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Why do i constantly beat myself up in my own head?

“oh great, look at that blackhead on my chin.”

“look at this belly roll.”

“great, you can see my double chin in that picture.”

“my hair looks flat.”

“i’m fat.”

“i look stupid.”

“i hate how i look right now.”

“my eye lashes aren’t long enough.”

“my arms are too big.”

“i am too emotional.”

“i need to lose weight.”

“my cheeks are too big when i smile.”

“my eyes are uneven.”

“ugh. look at the bags under my eyes.”

“my forehead is too big.”

blah. blah. blah.

As I was flowing on my mat, all of these thoughts came rushing to me. When I get on my mat, I like to try and help myself from these thoughts, but I couldn’t hold it back. It was a flood of so many negative thoughts, that the more I moved the worse it was getting. I couldn’t escape it. So I sat there and breathed…and I let it all come to me. Then I wrote all of these thoughts down. What a reality check that was. I can’t believe how much time I’ve spent on saying negative things about myself when I look in the mirror. I yearn so badly to heal myself, to better my life & think better thoughts. I just became reiki 1 certified. I am doing more yoga. Isn’t this all suppose to help me?

Last August (2016) I attended a 5 day yoga/self love/healing fest called The Wild Woman Fest.  Ever since that time, I have been ripped open, and realized a lot of things about myself I never realized before… It has been a battle of trying to find myself, my passions, how I want to better myself, my life and what I want to offer to this world.

Some days I feel like I am getting worse. Other days I wake up feeling so motivated. I’ll give myself a pep talk, “it’s going to be a good day, I am going to eat good, I am going to drink enough water, I am going to do a workout when I get home from work.”  Guess what, when I get home from work, it all changes. I am exhausted. I don’t want to work on myself then. I’ve realized I haven’t had much water in the day, I barely ate, I barely went to the bathroom, and then I’m beat.

Maybe it’s my job that brings me down so much.

But maybe, it’s also me letting my job bring me down. Letting the little things get to me, so it’s an excuse for why I don’t get done the things I say I am going to get done. And then I sit here, I acknowledge all the things I am doing wrong. But am I going to do anything about it?

I sure as hell hope so. Which is why I am here, typing it all out. Putting it out there. Making myself feel vulnerable.

This life is so short. I spend too much time worried about what the world might think of me. What my family or friends may think of me.  What society may think of me.

I want to do better. Be better. Be more like me.

Not what some instagrammer who I look up do, does.

Why do I feel like I need to alter my appearance to “look better”? Why do I feel like I need to dress better when I share a yoga flow or picture on my instagram? Why does it always have to be about looks?

It doesn’t!

I like wearing my hair in a messy half bun, barely brushed. I love wearing my comfy pajamas & slipper socks. I don’t need to get eyelash extensions to make my eyes look beautiful. They already are.

I have to admit though, the only thing I truly need to work on besides worrying about what others may think of me, is what kind of food I put into my body. That plays a big role in how I feel about myself and the energy I am lacking.

As I wrap up this first blog post, feeling vulnerable about putting myself “out there”, I will beginning a 7 day self-love/mindful eating challenge that I am creating for myself.  After the 7 days I will share what I discovered, what worked for me & what didn’t.

I’d love to take whoever is reading along, on this journey and help who may be going through the same thing I’m going through.

Thanks for reading.

Be back in 7 days.

xoxo

– from the wildflower within